New Police Division?
This last week the National Police added a new division to it's force - officers traveling in pairs on motor scooters. And just like the other divisions (officers on foot, in cars, on bicycles, and motorcycles) the guys on the motor scooters have there own uniforms, that distinguish them from the others. Although they are wearing military-style utilities, they are not outfitted with the flack jackets and AK-47's of the motorcycle mounted guys.
Spanish Is Easy - But, Only To A Point
One of the things that makes Spanish somewhat easier is that many words are the same, or at least close to their English counterparts. You don't need a dictionary to figure our banco, restaurante, audio, problema, even fotografía. It's fairly easy to figure out the meaning of exacto and correcto. And, 'exactly' and 'correctly' become exactamente and correctamente, respectively. English words ending in 'tion' often are the same word, but ending in 'cion' in Spanish, thus 'nation' becomes nación. Similarly, 'passion' become pasión, and 'compassion' is compasión. But be careful, words are not always what they look like. Someone who is 'embarazada' is not embarrased, they are pregnant. Oops, sorry miss.
Now the pronunciation may be something different. No one will have a clue what you are talking about until you pronounce 'private' - pre VAH tay. You will have the same problem trying to tell the cab driver you want to go to the Pirate (Pee RAH tay) Bar. My hotel, the Occidental, looks like occidental in English, but is pronounce O C N tahl. (For the first week I was here, I had to carry a hotel business card with me to show the cab driver). And you are going to get quizzical looks until your gringo tongue learns to roll that double 'r'. Otherwise, for example, perro (dog) comes out to the Spanish listener as pero (but). [What do you mean? Does my but bark?]. And I knew the Spanish words for ice and rain for months (their pronunciations sounds like 'yellow' and 'you vee ah') before I realized that I had not been recognized those words in print - hielo and lluvia.
Many common expressions in Spanish don't make much sense when translated literally into English. They replace our English question 'What is your name?' with '¿Cómo te llamas?', which literally translates to 'How are you called?' As a result, if you take the expression 'What is your name?', translate each word to Spanish and form them in a sentence, you will get nothing but a blank stare as a response. And contrary to what one would think from studying Spanish textbooks, 'hola' (hello) is not a common expression - I don't hear it once a week. The common greeting in the mornings is 'bueno' (or the plural, buenos), a shortened version of bueno dia. For some reason, later in the day, the shortened bueno is replaced by the full expression, bueno tardes (for both afternoon and evening). I have yet to figure out at what time of the day, the evening becomes night (and bueno tardes becomes bueno noches), but it does. They also shorten the textbook greeting como estas usted (How are you) to just como esta. And I have never heard anyone use the formal textbook version. And if you don't hear what was asked or didn't understand, and respond the way we do with a 'what?' (que?), you will really confuse things. They ask 'como?' (how?). And, to further confuse the issue, they answer the phone with a 'hello', except of course the 'h' is silent. Hello? Beats me, I'm just telling the story.
And I don´t even want to get into that whole gender business where all the nouns are either male or female. So bathroom is not simple bano - it is el bano )no, not al bano!). The way my ´Blue Color Comedy Tour´mind works, I´m saying, ¨You mean the ladies room down here is masculine?¨ Oh well.
Class dismissed.
New Video
I decided to include this new video in the blog, because, of all the videos I have put together, this one is really unique. I figured everyone would really get a kick out of this.
Turn on your sound and click on the image.
Glad you did, aren´t you?
Dave Barry For President!
Dave Barry's Democratic Convention coverage yielded some classic observations that only he could make. In case you missed it:
"..this convention is without question the most exciting political convention in decades. Which is much like saying that Moe was a smartest Stooge.
.. Hillary has spent several years preparing for the primary race, surrounding herself with genius political advisors and traveling the country providing a detailed 23-point plan for every problem including soybean blight. .... and she gets beat out by a guy with the same amount executive government experience as Hannah Montana. Hillary is like: 'Are you KIDDING me?'"
And the real classic, "On Thursday night Obama will receive the nomination in long-overdue recognition of a distinguished career consisting entirely of seeking the nomination."
My Latest Nomination for the Cesar Chavez Hall of Shame
U.S. Rep. Stephanie Tubbs Jones, D-Ohio, died suddenly on August 20 after suffering a brain aneurysm. Tubbs Jones, an African American, had served admirably in the House, and had been a strong advocate for years in support of the interests of her constituency, a district in Cleveland that the majority is overwhelmingly African American . She had championed causes such as raising the minimum wage and battled to prevent cuts in Medicare. She also served admirably as chairman of the House Ethics Committee.
In recent months, Tubbs Jones was being attacked seemingly from all sides by her constituency. There were serious concerns in political party circles that the constituency backlash' was so strong that her re-election appeared in doubt. Their was talk of her being a 'traitor', and she had received personal threats serious enough to warrant hiring security. After her death, there has been discussions about the need to "forgive" her. What did she do that was so wrong? During the Democratic primary races, she was a strong and vocal supporter of Hillary Clinton, rather than Obama! My God!
Maybe I am a cynic, but I can see it coming. If Obama is not elected, it won't be attributed to the fact that many voters believe that he is so liberal that he's off the chart. Or the concern in many people's mind about his inexperience. Or.. or .. or. And, life-long Republicans, will not really be casting their vote for McCain, they will have voted against Obama? Give me a break! What about that large portion of the electorate that feel that the job of President of the United States is in fact - how did he word it? - "above his pay grade." I get the same feelings as what I experienced in 1984 when a bunch of people were going to vote Democrat merely because a woman was on their ticket (or the equally repugnant idea of voting Republican because of it). Ugh! You can't have it both ways! Not only should people who live in glass house not throw stones, they shouldn't be allowed to.
The Sunday Morning Shopping Mall
Sunday mornings are special. In addition to the normal hubub around the park, and specifically in front of the hotel, there are added features on Sunday morning only. From right to left (or, I guess, bottom to top), there is the magazine stand, then a lady selling lottery tickets. Next is the guy selling call phones witj all the features, everything except a camera for $9. {Just buy a phone card at almost any store (minimum $2), and you are in business in five minutes. No sign-up, no registration no contracts no nothing.] Then there is another lottery ticket sales lady next to the guy selling CDs/DCDs (yes, pirated - $1 each). The stand next to them doesn´t count. He is there every day with his line of hats, sunglasses, scarfs, school supplies, phone accessories, etc. etc.
By the way on down the street about 15 feet, in front of the department store, off camera, are abour a half dozen more, selling every thing from new shoes to cantalopes
Karaoke - The Latino Version
Even if you are not a karaoke fan, you owe it to yourself to experience the Latino version - at least the Orly Restaurante Friday and Saturday night version. For starters, Justin, the DJ, has one of the most elaborate sound systems I have ever seen - it takes him over an hour to set it up - complete with a 6' x 6' screen. And he definitely has the biggest selection of music I have ever seen - several big cardboard boxes of discs in addition to an entire computer hard disc of music.
But what gives karaoke night the 'wow' is the participants - a lot of really talented performers most of whom don't sing a song, but instead 'perform the song' with Latino passion. From the cabbie whose specialty is salsa, to a carpenter who rocks the place with mariachi, to the banker whose specialty is Julio Inglesias 'oldies, and the romantic ballad maestro (who happens to be the manager of the electronics store) who is stunningly talented singer. But the favorite of the crowd is a sweetheart litttle old lady who every night does the same four songs. And, every night when she finishes each song the audience roars its approval. I still have not figured whether the raucous response is because of, or in spite of, the fact that - bless her heart -she cannot carry a tune in a bucket. Don't you love it? The best way to describe the audience at karaoke? More like a crowd at a wrestling match than an audience.
The first few times I went in there just to sit and observe in amazement. Friends and the DJ kept bugging me to sing, but I declined - what do I know about Spanish music? Well, one night, not to be deterred, Justin suddenly produces disks of songs in English, and he selects for me Sinatra's version of 'New York, New York', a song I was never particularly fond of, but... Turns out Sinatra was (is) very popular here, and that song is a local favorite. Oh my, Katie, bar the door. Every night, (every night!) I can see it coming. Justin gets this impish grin on his face and turns to me and asks from across the room (but, on mike), ¿Larry, usted canta eso que? (sing what?). And, on cue, people start chanting, "New York, New York." And when the opening refrain starts - ta ta tata ta, ta ta tata ta, ta ta tata ta taaa - bedlam breaks out - hollering, whistling, table banging, Yy Yy Yy Yying .. I wish they would get tired of that song, but... A couple of weeks ago I went to a pharmacy I had never been to on the other side of town looking for one of my meds (my pharmacy was out of it). The young guy behind the counter (who, I would swear I have never laid eyes on), looks at me, grins and says, "New York, New York." Huh? And, a couple of days ago a taxi driver, leans out the window as he whizzes by me honking his horn and singing, "If I can make it there, I can make it anywhere." For toppers, the guy who runs the hot dog stand in front of the hotel has started calling me Senor Sinatra. "Martha, I think we have created a monster!"
I came up with the perfect strategy to kill the 'New York monster.' Do a different song, even better, learn a song in Spanish. I picked the song 'Somos Novios' because; 1.) I had the song on disc (allowing me to learn/practice in private), 2.) it was fairly simple, and, 3.) it is to the tune of an American standard, classic 'It's Impossible'. That should get the attention off of New York. And provide the added benefit that the crowd can't get crazy over a less raucous ballad. Right? Wrong, on both counts! Now I have to do both songs every night! And, Somos Novios has becomes 'standing swaying sing-along', with the audience roaring and clapping at the end of each stanza and all through the instrumental break between verses ( I assume because I manage to stumble through the lyrics). Some folks are easily entertained - obviously, myself included! Maybe I should take up bowling.
Till Next Time. Pura Vida!
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