Larry's Central American Travels

Greetings from Panama!

For Some Folks, Heaven Comes To Panama

Monday morning I walk out on the balcony at 7AM, and there was a line that had already formed at the bank across the square.  I say 'already' because the bank does not open until 9AM.  It was a LONG line!  It ran down the block to the corner, and an entire block down the main street.  Frustratingly, no one seemed to know what the line was for.

A gringo friend of mine comes to the hotel on Monday and Wednesdays because he is editing my book for me.  I figured Jaron could solve the mystery.  Not only does he speak pretty good Spanish, he is married to Jenny, one of the maids here in the hotel.

It turns out that Monday was disbursement day for the new pension plan.  Back in August,  new president Martinelli announced a program that has been dubbed 70-100.  Starting September 1st, all Panamanians will receive a $100/month pension when they reach age 70, if they are not covered by any other pension plan.  How many people could that be?  Evidently, lots.

As Jenny was explaining this to Jaron and I, she began to cry.  This new pension applies to her elderly parents.  Her parents' house  is less than 8 miles (as a crow flies) from the hotel we were standing in - in the heart of Panama's second biggest city.  The house (Ok, hovel) has three rooms, dirt floors, no electricity and no running water.  They cook over a wood fire in a lean-to in the side yard, next to their vegetable garden.  The house is on a hill, about 100 yards off of a dirt road, and there is no road or driveway up to the house. They have lived their entire adult life, and raised their four kids, in that little house.

Jenny's family subsists on her dad's 'job', which entails him carrying a gas operated engine (similar to a giant leaf blower) down the hill and hooking it up to a pipe which runs up the hill to a neighbor's cistern, and pumping water out of the creek.  He has done that twice a day for over 10 years.  He gets paid $3 a week.  That is, according to Jenny, representative of his employment history,  the type of duties that he has done to make ends meet for his entire life.  He just turned 83.

Jenny's tears were tears of joy.  The initial payments were phased in alphabetically, so this was her parent's first payment.  But, they were going to be paid retroactively to the programs start date.  So, on this joyous day, her parents were going to receive $100 each for three months (Sep, Oct and Nov).  Jenny is certain that her father has never made more than $200 cash in any year of his life.  She compares this to her parents winning the lottery.  Her mother is worried sick about where they will be able to hide $600.  But, she is thrilled by the idea that, if she and her husband can just live for three more years, they will be able to leave a fortune inheritance to their four children.

My Latest Video

My latest video is a tribute to the troops at Fort Dix.  I invite your comments.

An Anniversary Celebration.

I have a news flash for you. Big business throwing its weight around is nothing new.  The emerging U.S. railroad industry arbitrarily established four times zones across the country, 126 years ago this month.  Up until then, localities determined that themselves usually based on daylight hours. The new trans-continental railroads couldn't handle the scheduling chaos that created.  The people took to and accepted the new time zones.

Thirty years later, the federal government made it official.

Talk About Too Big To Fail?

A recent discussion I listened to about the financial woes of the state of California revealed some things that I was not aware of.  Did you realize that California is so big that the size of the California economy alone would qualify it, if it were a country, as a member of the G-8?  And, were you aware that the population of California exceeds the total populations of the seven countries that make up Central America?  Yee gads!

Till Next Time.  Pura Vida!

   

Happy Holidays (?) From Panama

You Americans Don't Understand The 'Holiday Thing'

A few years ago the U.S. 'moved'  some federal holidays to Mondays, providing for several 3-day holiday weekends.  Plus, it has become standard in a lot of industries to close early on the previous Friday to extend the weekend a bit.  And, at last count I think there are 15 U.S. federal holidays each year.

Well, Panama has about 15 federal holidays in just November and December alone.  November is a real classic - Monday the 2nd, was Day of the Dead (similar to our Memorial Day); Tuesday was Flag Day; Wednesday, Independence Day (from Colombia); Thursday, Colon Independence Day (they were not part of Panama when they declared independence); and Friday was a religious holiday of some kind.  By the way, a lot of businesses closed at noon on the previous Friday to extend the holiday period a bit.

And the beat goes on.  Tuesday the 10th, is the anniversary of the day in 1821 that a group of patriots in the town of La Villa, in the province of Los Santos, issued the "First Cry For Independence" from Spain.  Their call is considered the stimulus for the rest of the nation deciding to break colonial ties with the Spanish, which the nation did 18 days later.  Therefore, as you might guess, Independence Day (from Spain) is on the November 28th.  And since the 28th falls on Saturday this year, the holiday will be celebrated on Friday - or Monday, or probably both.

In Honor Of Veterans´ Day

I think the video I put together for the 4th of July, works even better for Veterans´ Day!

You Think You've Heard It All

Well, leave it to me.  I have found something more tiring and frustrating that getting cornered by a nice little old Panamanian gentleman intent on talking my ear off, even after he discovers I don't speak enough Spanish to comprehend. Hint:  They do NOT give up!  blah, blah, BLAH, BLAH ..

Well, Benedito, one of the young fellows who has been working in the cafeteria downstairs since I have been here, has been transfered over to the hotel side where he is working as a porter.  He spends part of the day  mopping the floors throughout the hotel and cleaning up out front.  He spends the rest of the day talking my ear off, in of all places, my sanctuary - the balcony outside my room.  Is nothing sacred? Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

And, the kicker?  He is deaf!  His long and involved stories are transmitted to me by a combination of gestures, sign language, mouthed Spanish, grunts, facial expressions and pantomime.  The funny part?  Unlike the old guys spewing Spanish at me, I understand Benedito!

Culinary Snobbery At Its Best!

The country that is second highest in sales volume, behind only the U.S., at McDonalds' franchises is France.

It reminded my of a cartoon I saw years ago.  A well dressed couple in a swanky restaurant is being lectured by the tuxedoed wine steward on 'Wine 101' - vintage, chateau versus estate bottling, etc.  The man responds to the stewards suggested selection with, "It won't f... up the taste of of my cheeseburger will it?" Vive Le France!

 

Till Next Time.  Pura Vida

 

Summer Is Coming, Must Be Getting Close To Christmas

The Strange World We Live In

Though you may not remember the name Carrie Prejan, you would probably recognize the face, unless you have spent the last few months in Siberia. She was the young lady who caused such a stir during the Miss America pageant, when she responded to a question by indicating that she was not in favor of same-sex marriage.  There were several additional highly publicized crises that swirled around her in the ensuing months.

The latest crises that has popped up is a lawsuit filed against her by pageant officials.  In short, pageant officials want the money back that they paid for her boob job.  It turns out that months before the contest, the pageant fronted her (no pun intended) the entire $5,200 dollars for the procedure. Say what?  Are you kidding me?

What's next?  'As American as Apple Pie', may fall by the wayside because it is discovered there are no apples in the recipe?  Contestants in the Miss America contest are not all former high school homecoming queens now working in the local 7-11, discovered by pageant scouts merely be chance?

So Funny That It Is Probably True!

Somebody sent me this a couple of years ago.  I found it buried on a backup disk.  In case you haven´t seen it - an absolute classic!  Click on image for full-size.

Don't You Panamanians Have A Calendar?

The morning of Monday, October 26, I awoke to discover a huge 40' high wire frame sitting in the park across the street.  I asked several people what it was and no one had a clue.  But, a couple of hours later trucks arrived at the park and started unloading boxes.  About an hour later a crew of workmen showed up. As I watched the goings-on I suddenly realized, 'My God, that looks like an artificial Christmas tree'.  Well, it was!  Workers spent the rest of the day adding the limbs, and then the decorations, using a tall forklift to reach the upper portions.  A monster Christmas tree. 

I had a ball the rest of the day kidding the Panamanians.  ¡Feliz Navidad! became my greeting of the day.  People thought I was nuts (nothing new!).  What frustrated them was that none of them had a clue of what was going on with this tree.  My question to them, "Navidad en Octubre?" got 'unfunny' real quick.  But, the next morning the tables turned.

When the sun came up Tuesday morning the tree was gone.  What?  No kidding, not a trace.  It turns out the whole exercise was staged to make an instructional video of putting up and decorating the tree. ??? I guess there is a big market for 40' trees.  And yes, the Panamanians got even.  I answered the same question Tuesday many times.  "Donde es Navidad en Carolina Norte?"
Lesson learned (but, probably not).

Be Careful What You Wish For

I recently got an email from a guy I got to know when he passed through here last year.  Earl recounted an experience he had while visiting Singapore.

Back in 2000, the  government, in celebration of, and a tribute to, free speech, built a  'Speakers Corner' in a park in downtown Singapore  modeled after the famous one in London. (For those of you who have not been to London, there is someone literally on a soap box in the Speakers Corner of the park 24/7 railing for [or against] anything and everything imaginable).

Earl noted that there were instructions posted on a bulletin board near the Singapore version of the corner, itemizing what one had to do prior to speaking:
1. You had to register at the police station nearby
2. After filling out the required forms, you had to wait for approval
3. If permission was granted, your speech would be recorded and anything you say is admissible in court
4. The subjects of race and/or religion are strictly off limits
5. You cannot insult anyone in a position of power

Out of curiosity, Earl went to the police station to determine when the next person was scheduled to speak. There were no speakers approved to speak.  And, no, the police officer could not remember the last time a speaker had been approved and scheduled.

Things You May Not See Around Your House

A red frog.  A red frog that is venomous!

A bus with this type of paint job.

A church altar embedded with over a hundred pounds of solid gold.

One of these in your neighbor´s back yard.

 

 

 

 

Till Next Time.  Pura Vida!

All Is Well In Panama! (Still)

What's In A Number?

Senor Ricardo Martinelli was sworn in as Panama´s new president 100 days ago.  Though there were four candidates running in the general election, Martinelli won with almost 60% of the popular vote.  The latest public opinion poll, commissioned by the daily newspaper La Prenza, shows that Martinelli´s approval rating after the first 100 days is sitting at 89.6%.

How can you account for that high an approval rating?  President Martinelli possesses a couple of skills that are rare in politicians.  1.)  He has done exactly those things he said he was going to do when he was campaigning, and, 2.) He is a businessman, not a professional politician, therefore he possesses, and exercises management skills.  How utterly refreshing!

My Dumb And Dumber Nominations

Three young Americans are still in custody three months after they inadvertently wandered into Iran.  They were back packing around where?  Oh, in Iraq!  What Somalia, Darfur and Burma were all full up? Duh!

Two pilots on a Northwest Airline flight overfly there destination by an hour.  Neither pilot heard ground controllers calling them during that hour because they were busy having an argument - oh no, they where both busy on their personal laptops. 'Fly The Friendly Skys With Tweedly Dumb and Tweedly Dumber'?  Duuuuuuuh!

A couple were hijacked by pirates in the waters off Somalia while sailing there private yacht.  They just happened to be in waters that experienced hijackings in just the previous week.  Do you have to take an IQ test to get a boat captain's license?  Duuuuuuuuuuuh!

More What's In A Number?

I had noted with some amusement that people in this part of the world can not comprehend distances in our (American's) frame of reference.  When you spend your whole life in a country the size of South Carolina (which Panama is) the vastness of the U.S. is incomprehensible, or more precisely one has no frame of reference to comprehend it.  They see a long trip as getting on the red-eye bus in David at midnight,and it is 6AM before you get to Panama City.  " No Senor, you can not drive from San Antonio to Chicago overnight." 

Yesterday it dawned on me that all of us are probably overwhelmed by the numbers that are being thrown around in the U.S. government proceedings.  We have become 'number numb'.  Sort of,  "A trillion is what again?" 

Here is my example.  Unemployment in the U.S. continues to hover near 10%.  And, if you include those unemployed individuals who have given up looking for work, and those who have been forced to take part-time work, the total number is about 15 million people.  Let`s convert that number into  population figures in Central America? 

The total combined populations  of Nicaragua, Costa Rica and Panama only totals about 13 million.  The two big countries of Honduras and Guatemala only have a combined total population of about 15 million between them. Likewise if you start with the total population of the Dominican Republic (10 million), you have to add the population of El Salvador to equal the U.S. unemployed number.   Gulp! 

In those terms, 15 million suddenly is a BIG number.

Learn Your Spanish

I still find it interesting that many words in Spanish have so many different meanings. For example the word 'bomba', depending on how it is used can mean bomb, bombshell, thunderbolt, pump (as at the gas station) or a forcer.  And a 'bombero' is a fireman, firefighter, fireguard or a troubleshooter.  Got that?

But the one I find hilarious is the word 'esposa'.  The word means both 'wife' and 'handcuffs'.  Proof positive that the Spanish Gods have a sense of humor.

Till Next Time.  Pura Vida.

   

Heard ´Round The Palm Tree

What Is Happening In Panama?

The International Monetary Fund's latest report shows that Panama was basically unaffected by the world-wide economic crises.  The National Bank continued to show rising profits during the crises (the bank never got involved in 'funny' mortgage instruments).  The IMF report says " ..Panama has passed the recession without slowing down and will continue to be one of the most dynamic economies in the Americas."

The new director of Panama's Social Security Fund reports that this year the fund will have a surplus of $42 million due to the new administration's initiatives on collecting revenues owed to the fund.

My Latest Video

I think many of you will enjoy my latest video adventure.  Admittedly, it is a departure for me.  An inspirational video from Matthews?  Well, maybe I'm getting old.  Let me know what you think. Turn the sound on and enjoy!

This Strange World (Cont'd)

Six months ago Hugo Chavez (Venezuelan President) had government troops raid, destroy equipment and closed down the largest non-government news organization in in the country.  El Indicación was the largest daily newspaper in the country and was founded in the 1920's.

Chavez has now initiated a new offensive against the remaining 'free press' organizations in Venezuela.   He has pulled the credentials of reporters, effectively barring them from government agencies, press conferences, etc. In addition, Chavez established by decree that government employees can not be interviewed by these news agencies, at the risk of prosecution of both the reporters AND the government employees.  It obviously does not pay to be critical of the Chavez administration.

The Obama administration has made FOX News off-limits for interviews for White House employees.  FOX, which polling date shows is viewed equally by people all across the political spectrum, has a viewing audience that is larger than all the other cable news outlets combined.  Yes,  some of the political pundits and commentators on FOX are too strident for me.  But, I (and millions of others) feel that FOX's straight news reporting is much more balanced than any other news outlet, including the printed press. It obviously does not pay to be critical of the Obama administration either.  Well, that is not true,  Fox's ratings continue to soar.  Maybe Obama got the 'shun Fox' idea from the book Chavez gave him. ??

Till Next Time.  Pura Vida.

   
 

Gettin´Back To Normal (?) In Panama

It's All In A Name

Thought you would find it interesting what is coming up at the Figal Convention Center in Panama City.  Of particular interest to me was the pricing:

October 15 - Gloria Estefan and her band, The Miami Sound Machine.  Tickets available at Blockbuster, $30 - $50.

October 23 - Jose Luis Perales, famous Spanish singer and song writer. Tickets available at Blockbuster, $30 - $50.

October 21 - Mexican singer, Juan Gabriel.  FYI, Gabriel is an icon throughout the Spanish speaking world.  He will be honored as 'Person of the Year' at the Latin Grammy awards in Las Vegas in November.  Tickets available at Blockbuster, $35 - $60.

October 28 - The Jonas Brothers (Yes, those Jonas Brothers). Tickets available at the Digicel phone stores, $42.39 - $384.74.  Wow ????

My Latest Video

I made this one for my birthday.  Kind of in shock that I am still around at my age.  I can assure you it is NOT a result of healthy lifestyle patterns.  But, when I heard the song, I thought ´that says it all for me´.  Some of you may even feel the same way.  Enjoy!

Things Have Not Changed Much In The Carolinas

When I returned to Wilmington, N.C. back in April, I noticed a big difference from the last time I had been there almost a year before.  The economic downturn had hit Wilmington hard.  Housing developments were sitting idle and the construction workers where noticeably missing from the bars and restaurants in south Wilmington.  The owner of the Boars Breath bar told me 30 restaurants had closed in the previous year.

On this trip the best thing that can be said is that things don't seem to have gotten any worse.  And, several people noted that the tourist season in Carolina Beach was better this summer than last.  All my friends and my son are all still working and seem to have worked through the crises. Phew.

My son in Charlotte lives down on the southern edge of the metropolitan area in an area called Clover (South Carolina).  In the mornings, after my son and his fiancee had gone to work, I would drive the five miles or so to 'downtown' Clover to have breakfast.  Clover is a throw back to small town America of years past.  Downtown is about three blocks long, the streets lined with brick business buildings.  The cars on the street could be replaced with Model 'T's and everything would still look in place and in character.

The restaurant I go to is filled in the morning with old guys (my age), most in bib overalls, wearing 'John Deere' ball hats and solving all the world's problems as they have their morning coffee.  Let's just say that there are not a lot of Acorn supporters in Clover.

The waitresses, both young and older, call everyone 'hon'.  The younger one (20-ish) wears a T-shirt, bib overalls, and her ball hat on backwards (the bill of which partly obscures the tattoo on her neck, so I don't know what it said).

Every morning I had ordered the same thing - two biscuits split, topped by sausage patties and two eggs, all covered with sausage gravy.  On my last morning, the waitress took it upon herself to advise me that I had another choice on my favorite breakfast.  I could replace the sausage patties with liver mush if I would prefer. My God.  Liver what?  I almost had to gag through breakfast at the flash back.

Till Next Time.  Pura Vida

 

 

 

Return To Paradise (er, Panama)

I  managed to survive 3 weeks in North Carolina (details next posting) and am now (Thurs.) enjoying a 24-hour layover in San Jose, Costa Rica in the Hotel Martino resort.  After a 45-minute flight tomorrow, I should be back in David by 1PM. Whew!

The view from my Hotel Martino room balcony.

Four Hours In A Shopping Mall??

I had told you part of my 'adventure' a few weeks ago trying to return to David from Panama City on my 'passport replacement' trip.  The immigration people took about 30 minutes to complete there collective head scratching over my new passport (i.e., no immigration stamps, just blank pages).  They got it all sorted out about 10 minutes after the 10:30AM flight to David took off.  Next flight? - 4:20PM! Argh!!!!

The only thing of interest in that part of the city is the Albrook Mall, which is adjacent to the airport grounds.  Let me make it clear, that a trip to a shopping mall is what I consider to be a sentence. "Your honor, couldn't I just do some kind of community service instead?"  However, four hours in a small airport terminal (one coffe shop, one snack bar) is even worse.  So...

The Albrook Mall is clean, modern and humongous.  According to mall advertising, it is the largest   shopping mall in Central America. I wandered around for two hours and saw just about every store you would expect to see in a U.S. mall - lots of familiar names and looks - plus a ton of local stores.  I thought I had pretty much covered it all when I stopped to look at a directory.  Gulp, I had covered one of the five sections (wings) of the mall.

Some items of interest (And, pardon me if I am just out of touch)
-  The escalators in the mall have a sensor on them.  When no one is on them they slow to a crawl, and only speed up to normal speed when someone steps onto them.
-  The Panamanians obviously have a thing for ice cream.  The directory listed 43 ice cream shops, all designated as 'gourmet ice cream' stores.
-  The mall security guards are all outfitted in cowboy suits (hats, boots and fancy brocaded shirts).  ???
-  The Panama Hat Store is listed as an import store.  Why? The origin of what we all know as the Panama hat is Equador, and the 'authentic' ones still come from there. I decided it would be neat to have the real thing, so I went off and found the store.  However, I quickly decided that I did not need one bad enough to cough up $237 for a straw hat.  I can live with the 'knock-offs' for sale in David for $15-20.
-  There appears to be a stenciling and monogram kiosk every 30 feet throughout the mall (hats, T-shirts, scarfs, banners, etc.).  Saw lots of clever ballcaps.  My two favorites: FBI in big letters, the small letters explain 'Female Body Inspector', and CIA explained as 'Cannabis Inhalers Association'.

The other thing that is really striking in the mall is the food courts.  In addition to the food carts, ice cream stores, candy shops and coffee bars strung throughout the mall, there are three huge food courts in each wing of the mall.  If there is any U.S. fast-food franchise that is not represented I could not figure out who it was.  One oddity is that the Subway shops do not offer my favorite - tuna sald - even though tuna salad is commonly available in Panama.  Go figure?

Of course, the food courts also feature many outlets that you have not heard of - El Chichemito, El Asador, La Yucca and Felicidate Express to name just a few.  Oddly enough, there was only one outlet with a noticeable line.  The KFC/Pizza Hut place had a long line the entire hour that I sat there.

Till Next Time. Pura Vida.

A Classic - Too Good To Pass Up

A classic my son sent me straight from Charlotte, N.C. (Just try reading  this without laughing till you cry!!!) 

Last weekend I saw  something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was  looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What  I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. 

The effects of the  tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term  adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time  to retreat to safety.

WAY TOO COOL! Long  story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the  button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however,  that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal  surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of
electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. 

AWESOME!!!  Unfortunately, I  have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the  face of her microwave.  Okay, so I was home alone with  this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all  that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I  sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on
intently  (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions  and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a  flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I  thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second)  and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I  was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself  against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would  work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a  pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in  one hand, and tazer in  another. The directions said that a one-second burst would  shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was  supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily  control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your  assailant flop on the  ground like a fish out of water... Any burst longer than three  seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm  looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less  than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and  (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to  myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost  beyond description, but I'll do my  best.

I'm sitting there  alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as  to say, 'don't do it dipshit,' reasoning that a one second  burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all  that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just  for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh,  pushed the button, and . . . . . .

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD .  . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . .. . WHAT THE HELL!!!  I'm  pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door,  picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on  the carpet, over and over and over again.. I vaguely recall  waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my  eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body  in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was  making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to  a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an  attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all  over the living room.

Note: If you ever  feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a tazer, one note of  caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when  you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it  is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on  the floor.. A three second burst would be considered  conservative?

IT HURT LIKE HELL!!!  A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a  relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what  little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My  bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.  The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and  both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had  been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88  lbs. I had no control over the drooling.

Apparently I pooped  on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of  smell was gone... I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head  which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my  nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe  return!

p.s. My wife, can't  stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift, and now  regularly threatens me with it!   If you think  education is difficult, try being stupid  !!

Till Next Time.  Pura Vida.

  

Back In The USA - Temporarily!

Fun And Games = Life!

Ten days before I was scheduled to depart on my semi-annual return to the U.S., my computer was stolen out of my hotel room.  Some one picked the lock in the door handle, stepped in the room, unplugged the computer, put it in the computer bag and was probably gone in less than two minutes.  I had failed to lock the deadbolt (2nd lock), since I was just going down stairs.  Duh!!

About an hour later, when I partially came out of shock is when the fun really started.  It dawned on me that the computer bag was where I stored, among other things, my camera, a second (backup) ATM card, my checkbook, my U.S. cell phone, and - gulp! - my passport!  So, my nice quiet week leading up to my planned departure now included an 'emergency' trip to the U.S. embassy in Panama City to get a replacement passport.

I took the early morning flight to Panama City (instead of the 7 hour red-eye bus trip) and got a cab to the embassy.  The U.S. embassy sits back on a big hill in a fairly isolated part of town.  The tranquility of the manicured embassy grounds did not transfer to the interior of the immigration office however.  To say it was a zoo would probably get me in trouble with PETA.  And, I knew this was not going to be my day when the first words out of the clerk's mouth was 'passport photos.'  Duh!  Like one doesn't know photos are required?  Well, one also didn't think to go to the little shop across the street from the hotel in David and get photos.  It is more fun to run around with your hair on fire in a cab in a strange city and find a photo shop.

When I finally got all the paperwork straight, I had to have an interview with a consulate official.  He evidently felt sorry for me because he said he would have the replacement passport ready by 3PM that afternoon.  Wow, good news!  I had been told by gringo friends in David that it normally took about two days.  However, I didn't realize that the embassy closes at three, which meant that there was absolutely no reason for any taxis to be out there in the boondocks after the embassy closes.  And, there weren't any.  When I finally lassoed a taxi I got back to the airport just in time to miss the last flight of the day to David.  So, a night in Panama City.

The next morning I got to the airport early to make sure I made the 10AM flight.  Processed in, got a boarding pass and waited around for them to call the flight.  When I got to the security point and emptied my pockets, etc. the immigration guy stops me.  There are no immigration stamps in my passport.  "No, pasaporte es nuevo, ayer," I explain. (passport is new yesterday).  He responds, "Pasaporte dicen tú área no aquí."  (Passport says you are not here.)  And off he goes, with my passport in hand, to the immigration office at the end of the terminal.  Few minutes later a lady comes out and finally makes me understand that her problem is that the passport is not in the computer, so they can't verify when or how I came in the country.  I then remember that I still have a copy of the cover page of the old passport in my wallet, so I suggest she try with that passport number.  She comes back a few minutes later with a printout showing when I entered the country, and everyone was now happy.  And, my airplane had just taxied out without me.  The next flight will go at 4:30!!  So I got to spend the next five hours wandering around the huge Albrook Mall, which is adjacent to the airport.  I should add that I hate malls, only slightly less than I hate hanging around airport terminal buildings.  (more on that experience in a later posting).

On the flight back to David, I suddenly realized that if I had that much trouble getting on a local flight within the country, that boarding a flight out of the country the following Monday might be problematic.  Gee, ya' think?  So, I got to spend a good portion of the next day in the immigration office in David.  After a lot of starts and false starts, and two different interpreters, a lady there registered the passport in the computer and gave me a backdated tourist visa so I could leave without a hitch.  It did work out OK, but, I must admit I held my breathe all weekend, certain that something would not look right to someone at the airport. 

Another Video

A quick tour of Peru compliments of a fellow I met on the cruise last April.

A Secret Hideaway In Alejuela, Costa Rica

The flight from David to San Jose gets in too late for me to make my normal U.S. Air connection to Charlotte.  So, I stay at the Hotel Martino about 20 minutes form the airport.  I discovered the place on s search on the internet and it is a blessing.  When you get away from the airport, you get away from the hustle and bustle -and the hustlers, hookers, con men, etc.

One does not even need to leave the hotel - pool, spa, two different dining rooms, a cigar bar, a billiards room and Monday Night football.  Is this heaven or what?  The next morning the hotel shuttle takes me back to the airport, and I am off again.  Great!  And, about half the price of the hotels in the vicinity of the airport!!

      

Till Next Time.  Pura Vida!

 

God Bless America

A Strange World We Live In

This morning I had to walk over to the drug store first thing.  As I crossed the corner of the park, a man I did not know stopped me, shook my hand and babbled something to me that I didn´t understand.  I just kind of shrugged it off to being only half awake and not yet functioning.  However, when I came back through the park, my friend Olivio who is the manager of the park, stopped me.  When he started talking to me as if to console me, I realized what he was saying and realized that the gentleman earlier had made reference to the same thing.   They had both referred to ´Nueve Once´, e.g. 9/11!

Do yourself a favor, take a few minutes and watch this video.  Nuff said!

Till Next Time.  Pura Vida!